So it goes.

I created this blog over a month ago and have yet to post anything on it. I originally intended to use it as a digital journal. As a new father, I've been overwhelmed with emotions and experiences that I would like to record. Not so much because I want to share them with the world (really, who the hell else is going to read this?) but because I don't want to forget some of the more interesting experiences that I know my brain will block out in an effort to cling to sanity.

But life is busy - Kai obviously consumes a lot of time, it was the holiday season, Betty moved in somewhat unexpectedly, and Barbara and I played host to two last-minute guests from Italy for 10 days. Oh, and we had to throw together a Christmas-eve dinner for 12 people with just a few hours notice!

So it goes.

Which is unfortunate, because a lot of stuff has happened these last two and a half months with the baby, and I already know that trying to write something now about the experiences from then won't feel genuine enough. I've already let go of most of the anger, frustration, resentment, and hopelessness every new parent surely must feel but few admit to.

But now Kai smiles sometimes when you play with him, and I believe it's because he's actually expressing happiness and not just showing a farting facial tick. He's beautiful. He's getting so big. Fat, actually. He always looked skinny to me, but in the last two weeks he looks like he's doubled in girth without growing any taller (er, "longer" in baby terminology).

Here's to looking toward the future.